"Time waits for no man. It moves at its own pace. You either are moving along with it or it leaves you wallowing in your winter season. "
It’s spring break. I’ve written often, so I am super excited! I am making a way to move into my new season. Patience is not one of my better qualities. I have to remind myself, it’s ok to move at a slower pace and not become agitated when I don’t meet my mark for the day. I am not in my spring season, yet I am embodying the mindset. I’ve learned mindset is the most important part of fostering a behavior change.
It’s taught in Buddhism, “Rather than our circumstances or the people in our environment; It is our attitude or mindset that determines whether we experience happiness or misery.” There’s also a biblical verse; “As someone thinks within himself, so he is.”- Proverbs 23:7 which teach the importance of mindset. Great philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Descartes had thoughts on perceptions of self and its impact on lives. Carol Dweck surmised there are two mindsets, growth and fixed. She looked at why people succeed and what’s in our control to foster success.
A negative mindset can hold us hostage, yet to change a mindset is an arduous process. Those deep-rooted beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions we create about who we are and how the world works can be an anchor around our necks. Our experiences create them and are often incomplete because we can only see through our own individual lenses. Although there are outside influences that shape our attitudes, we are still responsible for what we regard and accept as fact. If you tell yourself, you can’t complete a task because it’s too difficult, you don’t have the time, someone is blocking you, or any myriad of reasons, that’s your attitude and those ideas will prevent success.
Once you set your mind on an intention, you alter the mindset. You must practice and work on the goal for it to become a habit. If you are someone with a growth mindset, making adjustments in your life may not be as challenging as those with a fixed mindset because it allows for fluidity while a fixed mindset enables immobility.
The inability to move forward was my problem, I had a set of beliefs, instilled in me from childhood, especially regarding careers. Entrepreneurship was not up for discussion. I had a choice of 2 pathways - attend college - or learn a trade and go to work for “somebody”. I did just that, and now I question my career decision. The United States has 51% of employees on the job who do not connect to the industry and will do the bare minimum. Another 16% exhibit complete disengagement, they hate their jobs! These kinds of attitudes are unhealthy and it affects performance and work relationships.
It reminds me of an SNL (Saturday Night Live) character called Debbie Downer. She was the most insufferable person to be around, and although the sketches were a load of laughs, it touched on reality. We all know a Debbie Downer. I was one of them. Lol, are you a Debbie Downer too? Do you drag down the office morale with your griping or sourpuss attitude? Do you interject negativity into every conversation? I became a Debbie Downer and for the last 2 years, it negatively affected my working life. Seriously, I could walk into a room and bring in dark clouds and not say one word, because I wore my emotions on my face. I can not tell you how many times my supervisors & well-meaning coworkers directed the discussion of the importance of a smile towards me.
Oh! when I think about the last 7 years. I am ashamed of my behavior. It was horrible. What I hadn’t wanted to examine in my life was “self”. Reflection on “self “only brought about anger and depression. I didn’t like who I saw when I looked in the mirror. So I covered it up. I created facades to placate those around me, to make them comfortable. Each time I did that, I buried myself a little more and uncovered Ms. Debbie Downer.
There wasn’t an epiphanic moment that caused some surreal reality that made me look into myself. It was many small, unpleasant things that happened repeatedly. When I finally looked at myself I knew I had to leave teaching. I would have to shift my mindset. That scared me.
But here I am now! Writing and building my platform and it feels wonderful. I shook off Debbie Downer and what a relief it is to be me again.
If you have a fixed mindset, transformation is possible. What goal can you set that you’ve only dreamed of accomplishing? Go do it!
Use Self-talk, that inner voice, change how you converse with others, avoid talking about what you aren’t doing well, instead talk about what you are doing amazing. Stop complaining about problems… it defeats mindset change and frankly, no one wants to hear you complain. Pick a goal and adjust your thinking to that specific aim, which pathway should you follow to achieve it? Surround yourself with others of like mind., if you are deciding to build a business, hanging out with someone that can barely stand getting up to go to work is fruitless. What can you learn from that person? Get out of your comfort zone!
Don’t grow fearful when faced with a daunting task or challenge don’t be afraid of failure, it’s always the catalyst for your success. If you are victorious at heart, you have already won the battle. Change your Mindset! Try something new! Change you!